Icahn and Microsoft move to oust Yahoo’s Board

Hot off the press tonight, it looks as though all hopes for any kind of truce between the triad of Yahoo, Icahn (who owns a 5% share of Yahoo) and Microsoft have been abandoned. Icahn filed the nominating papers to replace the current 9-member Yahoo Board with directors who will approve Microsoft’s bid. Get ready at the OK Corral, because the showdown for that battle is set for August 1st with a shareholder vote. Icahn has accused the current board of being more interested in their own jobs and interests rather than seeing the benefits of Microsoft’s offer for shareholders.

Yahoo restated its’ disdain for Microsoft’s “ludicrous” offer with a letter rallying shareholders to help fend off the now violent takeover.

“We are prepared to let you, our stockholders, not Microsoft and Cark Icahn, decide what is in your best interests and we look forward to the upcoming vote,” Yahoo Chairman Roy Bostock and CEO Jerry Yang wrote.

Yang also asked Yahoo employees to buckle-up and get ready for even heavier turbulence during the next few weeks, predicting that Microsoft may make more offers even as Icahn taunts the board.

Meanwhile, Yahoo shares are falling in the struggle and things seem a little bit more personal than corporate on some levels. Icahn’s proposal would have the board replaced and establish himself as CEO, basically banishing Yang altogether, but “allowing” him to keep the title of “Chief Yahoo” he holds, a title with emotional power and sentiment but little else.

If this buyout was a courtship, (and don’t kid yourselves, it is)
the dialogue would go something like this:

Microsoft: Hey, You know, You are a cute little Yahoo, actually something about that cowboy yodel is rather hot. Can I take you out to dinner?

Yahoo: I don’t think so.

Microsoft: Well, it’s just dinner, surely dinner with the most powerful, omnipotent, wealthy, all-knowing, satisfying, mammoth corporation in the Universe is an opportunity you should not pass up.

Yahoo: I think I will have to pass on your offer, but thank you for asking.

Microsoft: Perhaps you didn’t hear me correctly. I said I would like to take you to dinner. Actually, all this unavailability has me even more turned on so after dinner I might like to take you over… to my place.

Yahoo: I don’t want to be rude, but really, I don’t like you very much, and I don’t want to have dinner with you, or go over to your place. Frankly, you give me the heebie jeebies, are you wearing Polo??? Ewwwww.

(Microsoft’s bully-buddy Icahn joins the conversation)

Icahn Hey Microsoft, what’s happenin?

Microsoft: I thought I’d do this Yahoo a favor and ask her out, but she’s to stupid to recognize a great offer when she sees one standing in front of her.

Icahn That’s too bad, Microsoft. She’s gonna wish tomorrow she had accepted your generous offer because I just talked to her boss, who owes me a big favor, and I don’t know if she will have a job tomorrow if she keeps on resisting you.

Microsoft: Awww that’s too bad. Isn’t that too bad, little Yahoo? Do you see what happens when you think you’re too good for me?

Yahoo: Um, this is getting kind of creepy. I think you just threatened me, and why do you have to have your buddy Ican play thug wingman in your relationships? Are you suffering from a complex because your name is “micro” and “soft”?????

~Erika